Education and Equality

Undesirable?

2008-09-27T22:54:00.004-06:00

As the newbie at a school full of "vetrans," I was assigned one of the less desirable schedules. It is the schedule that the other teachers don't want, and they often comment on my "misfortune" of receiving such a "difficult" group of kids.

My schedule is one section of "regular" students for English, three sections of "low"* students, and one section of a class that is being eliminated. This is considered "difficult" because the "low" students are often more likely to become classroom manegement issues, and they are less likely to pass the state mandated exams.

I do not see it this way. My schedule is great. I no longer have seniors, which are without question the highest maintenance group of students in the world. I have sophomores; a group of kids that have some motivation and room for growth.

I am a bit nervous about the way that my colleagues percieve my students. They offered up some workbooks that haven't been published since 1985. They have recommended Flowers for Algernon, which I feel is condescending to ask students to read. "Here is a book about a mentally challenged child. He learned to read, so you can too!" My colleagues also seem to disregard the issues of ESL students, special education students, and students without parental guidance.

I am worried. I worry that I will push the kids too far. I worry that if I don't follow the "they can't do it, so don't try" attitude, then I might not be asked back.

I just hope that I can do well for my students this year.

Kids are funny.

2008-09-21T23:35:00.002-06:00

I have a group of rowdy students for 1st period. These kids are always talking and they don't spend much time working. At the beginning of the year they were all sitting together, but that soon proved a mistake. I never got a moment's peace, so I revamped the seating chart and spread them around the room.

Now the distractions are global.

Case in point: I was walking around the classroom the other day as the students were working. One of the rowdier boys stopped me and said, "Can I show you something, and will you tell me if it makes me look like McCain?" Well, I was in no mood for any ageism, and so I just ignored the request and told the student to get back to work. I continued my walk down the rows of desks. I turned around because I heard snickers, and what did I see?

Sitting in the seat of a tenth grade boy was a mask of John McCain.

It was all I could do not to die of laughter. I instructed the student to take it off, but all he did was leave it on and mumble about Point Break.

Sometimes it is really hard to pretend that you are the authority figure. :) Here's to harmless jokes and kids that make me smile. Now, get back to work!

Conferences

2008-09-20T22:31:00.003-06:00

I just spent the last two days of the week participating in Parent/Teacher Conferences. For some reason I always dread this time. I have never had a negative experience, but I think that I get nervous because I have to say, "You're child is not working," or "Your child is disruptive." I have this fear of parents rising up and screaming, "You're wrong! He's perfect and you should be fired! We are going to sue!"

I think that fear comes from some HR person warning new teachers about never being alone with parents, but I have yet to speak to a colleague who has had a violent or threatening conference.

That gets me thinking about all of the other "scenarios" new teachers are warned about. "Don't allow students to be alone in your classroom; they will burn the building down," or "Never talk about a student in front of anyone, because you could be talking in front of her parents," or "Don't teach a book with cussing; you will be thrown out of teaching forever."

Of course these things happen occasionally, but I think that many teachers are living in fear. I teach what I want to teach, and how I want to teach it. Does this mean that I shun best practices? Absolutely not. This means that I don't allow the fears of a few "classroom legends" to drive my curriculum. It also means that I am a member of the union. :)

The Beginning of Year Three

2008-09-16T18:51:00.002-06:00

This is an important year. This is the year that I apply for Level II licensure (and a major pay increase), and become a teacher that people will reckon with. I must be on top of my game, and I have to have all of my paperwork filled out immaculately.

Complications to the third year include;
I just moved to a new district.
I have an infant.
I am a procrastinator.
My previous district did not complete all of the paperwork that I am required to
have.

I am really excited about this year. My new school is great. The kids are pretty motivated. The administration seems to stand behind its teachers.

I have some interesting things to talk about, but so far so good.

OMG!

2008-05-08T23:43:00.002-06:00

It is crunch time. My students graduate next Saturday, and I have to have their grades done by Thursday. I was crazy enough to assign a project an essay to close the Shakespeare unit (both of which are proving that students will learn difficult material, if they are given the opportunity). Then I assigned another essay on a current event.

Have I lost it man? I am constantly grading papers in these last days, and it is a little overwhelming.

I am really proud of my students this year. They had it a bit rough, what with a pregnant teacher followed by maternity leave, but they pulled through. I feel pretty confident that I am sending (most) of my students to college with the skills they need to succeed.

However, I am reconsidering my teaching style. I am going to start the year with a "Skills Boot Camp" that will ensure (hopefully) that I won't see an entire essay of sentence fragments.

With any luck, I will also be moving to another school this next year. Updates to follow.

Back to work

2008-04-10T20:18:00.002-06:00

I took a three-month maternity leave, and I have returned (triumphantly?) to work. It was like returning from summer break, but without the cushion of students who have allowed their minds to turn to mush over a long, hot summer. My teaching muscle was a bit weak, but my powers of observation never cease.

The first thing I saw was tagging (gang graffiti) on my door and my desks. Then I saw my dictionaries. Some were missing covers, some were tattered. There was one that looked completely fine--until I looked inside. Someone had taken a razor and sliced every page in the dictionary. How creative.

Classroom defacement aside, things seemed pretty normal. The students who failed the 1st and 2nd quarters failed the 3rd quarter. Despite the standard protests ("The sub lost all of my work! I was here, but she just marked me absent!") the sub's information matched what I would have experienced.

Needing to get my bearings, I finished up the plans that I had left for the sub, and I felt a bit guilty. Textbook based lessons are the most boring! I wasn't sure how competent the long-term sub would be, so I wanted to leave the easiest lessons possible. Sadly, the students suffered. By the end of last week they were banging their heads against the walls. Thankfully, I spent a portion of my leave preparing a very challenging unit on Shakespeare. This ought to give the students the challenge they have been wishing for, yet are afraid to admit missing.

Back to work indeed.

Maternity Leave

2008-01-18T15:36:00.000-07:00

I am currently on maternity leave. I am worried about my students, as they are seniors, and the 3rd quarter is very important for seniors. I left some great lessons, but I hear that there is no consistency with the substitutes. I look forward to returning, but I fear the worst for myself and my students.

Showing Improvement

2007-11-27T18:31:00.000-07:00

I figured that I would use a particularly "educationese" term for my title. I haven't posted recently because of intense disappointment. Many of my students were failing my class, and I was upset with them as well as myself. Well, I reviewed my practices, and spoke with graduates from last year and I knew that I was doing good things for my students. I decided to keep on with the assignments, keep on with the "tough" love, and I hoped/assumed that my students would rise to the challenge.

They have. Many students are now passing, and they are turning in work that illustrates that they are really challenging themselves. Students are even saying that they don't want me to take maternity leave, because they want to learn something next quarter. I know that some of that may be flattery, but I have to believe that there is a bit of truth in it.

There are still several students who aren't responding, or those who entered the 12th grade without the necessary skills, but my classroom is showing improvement.

This makes me feel good. I was worried that I would go on maternity leave feeling as if the only difference I made for this particular group of seniors would be that they got to see me grow more and more pregnant. Now I know that they know that they are capable of completing difficult texts and tasks. I am proud.

Hopefully when I return from maternity leave I will have the same enthusiasm.

Illness and days off

2007-11-03T12:04:00.001-06:00

I was sick this week. I had what can only be described as a mucus invasion accompanied by fever. As I am pregnant, I was worried and went straight to the doctor, and she ordered me off of work for a few days. The school was already off on Thursday, for Dia de Los Muertos, so I opted to return on Friday.

It was like entering an alternate universe. There were upwards of 20 teachers out on Friday. My classes were limited to fewer than twelve students. And the strange thing was, those students sat down and got to work, even though I did not really give any work that day. In order to avoid the inevitable onslaught of make-up work on Monday, I chose to allow my students time to work on catching up on reading, writing their essay, or working on other assignments. Rather than sit around and chat, or simply go to sleep, all of my students got to work. I felt like I had showed up on opposite day.

As for my colleagues, I was a bit disappointed. I know how nice it is to take a four day weekend, and I had every reason to since I was sick, but we have to set an example. Teachers should tough it out for the sake of the students, especially at a school where the attendance is so bad.

I am feeling much better, and hopefully next week all students will return with the same vigor as the students had on Friday.

Dangerous Incompetence

2007-10-21T18:29:00.000-06:00

Last week was a tough one. The principal was out all week long, and we have two new assistant principals, so the students were a bit crazy. There were fights every day, and with each day the number of fights increased. By Thursday there were at least six fist fights on campus. Students were being arrested and suspended by the handful. It was rough.

Some of my students were scared, others mentioned the possibility of retaliatory shootings. This information was passed on to administration. Friday was looking rough, but we had an in-service planned for Monday, so many teachers were thinking that the students might make a four-day weekend out of it and not show up.

No such luck. Friday was a day of unusually high attendance. I arrived on campus to see each and every student area full. The basketball courts, the quad, the cafeteria, and the parking lot were all teeming with students, especially for a Friday.

I walked into my classroom, and I looked at the clock. It was 8:00 am, yet I had heard no bells on my way in. Class was to begin immediately. Usually, if the bells are off (as they have been nearly everyday this year, save a total of two non-consecutive weeks)an announcement is made over the intercom to tell students to move along to class. No such sound came over the loudspeakers. I went out in the hall to see the custodians and security officers guiding students into the building.

I started class with a "bell-ringer" about what might cause such hostility in the school. Students wrote eagerly for the full 15 minutes, which is generally an impossibility. It turns out that there is--has been for years--an environment of accepted racism simmering under the surface of all interactions at school. Now students are feeling oppressed by the administration, so they are biting at each other. This is dangerous.

So, to recap; increasing violence, students feeling unsafe, no bells, no intercom, racial tensions. For this day, just to avoid being on the news, I would have called the buses back and sent the kids home. Safety is the number one concern for every administrator, or so they say.

But no. Teachers were standing in the quad, holding their watches and shouting. "This is your two-minute warning bell. Ding! Ding! Ding! You have two minutes to get to my class or you will be locked out!" Administrators were not visible in the early passing periods of the day. Students stood in clearly defined groups, staring at the center of the quad, anticipating some sort of event. Those that were fearful of a more violent day were outnumbered by the gawkers.

Then the rumors began. "Miss, I hear if there are three more fights that we all get to go home." This created little Don Kings everywhere. Promoting and provoking fights among underclassmen.

Meanwhile, many of us teachers were scared. If the worst were to occur, how would we know? If a gun were on campus there would be no school-wide announcement telling us to lock our doors and secure our students. The phone list is not even very accurate, so a phone tree would not be effective either. I labored under paranoia, and I locked my doors for the first time. Student who were late were allowed in, but as for the fresh air blowing through the classroom, keeping sleepy students awake, there was none. Students who left to go to the bathroom had to knock to be let in. It was strange.

There were a few more fist fights, but no real trouble. A large group of students got in a food fight in the cafeteria, and they were sent home. Thankfully the day ended without real incident. However, I was uncomfortable all day, and there were times that I felt that taking a cowardly half-sick day was preferable to what "might" happen.

All of this, and grades were due by 2:00 pm. What a bunch of chaos. I hope that there is a real meeting of the minds regarding the racial tensions at the school, and I hope that teachers, myself included, begin standing up about what should be done. I also hope that I find the strength to return after maternity leave.

Frustration

2007-09-29T18:47:00.000-06:00

Every administrator is on the chopping block, and that translates into checklists. The higher-ups create a bunch of lists, and the principals walk around checking things off.

Does teacher confiscate hats? Check.
Does teacher attend IEPs? Check.
Does teacher update website? Check.
Does teacher call to alert parents of absences? Check.
Does teacher show up to work at least 5 minutes early? Check.

Does teacher teach? Blank.

I know that every professional has extra responsibilities on their plate. But my title is Teacher, yet so much of what the "leaders" check for is not teaching. I teach, yet most of my "directives" are about record keeping, dress code, or perceived gang threats.

I have a colleague who completed the teaching program the same time I did. We are only in our second year, and he is already contemplating a new career. He is a very good teacher, and all of this other BS is pushing him out of the profession. That makes me sad, especially when I see so many incompetent teachers around, but they happily check off as many lists as they are given.

I have another colleague who has been in education for almost 20 years. She has also had jobs in publishing and journalism, as well as a brief stint in the military. She said that this is the hardest job (at this particular school) she has ever had, including service. She remarked the other day that she has "March patience" and it isn't even October yet. You teachers out there know what that means, but for those of you who aren't quite clear, "March patience" is when you are snapping at students and praying for a water pipe to bust.

My Department Chair keeps talking about drawing a line in the sand, and I feel like it has been drawn. Teachers can teach, or they can "prove themselves" with checklists. The latter will help you keep your job (that is, until the school misses AYP yet again, and then everyone is on the poo list); the former will help you keep your professional dignity, and it will help society.

I am trying to walk the very thin line of appearing to meet the "list" requirements, while being subversive enough to actually teach something to somebody. I just don't want to sell out.

I am working very hard at looking busy, and I don't know how long it will keep up.

Playing the Game

2007-09-09T20:02:00.000-06:00

With each passing day, the administrative geniuses in our district send a little "reminder" as to what new things are required of us teachers. It's very passive aggressive and I often want to post the emails here. But I generally just print them out and grade the grammar errors. That is my own personal revenge.

These reminders often say things like, "Don't forget that morning and afternoon duty keeps our campus safe. We will be checking to see if teachers are doing their duty," or "The district has the ability to check and see if you are inputing at least three grades a week," or "Remember that beverages aren't allowed in classrooms. Parents have seen teachers with water bottles." All of these reminders simply remind me that the people running the show are doing an awful lot to look busy.

Our school failed to meet AYP, again. This means that as soon as next year, administrators will be replaced, and investigations into the district may begin. Rather than address the issues at hand--remarkably high illiteracy, poor attendance, complacent teachers who only give worksheets and participation grades--the "educational leaders" want to check a bunch of lists. Is Teacher A turning in lessons every week? Yes, but we have never read them. Does Teacher B stand in the hall during passing period? Yes, but he does not speak a word during class time. He merely passes out worksheets. Has Teacher C posted at least three grades this week? No? What? What on earth is she doing? Assigning essays and using a writing workshop method to boost their writing skills? Who gives a poo? I want to see the grades!!!! I have a list. I need to put a check in the box!!!

So I have taken the road of Teacher D. I do my 5 minutes of duty, I send in my weekly (weakly?) lessons, I post many grades. But I do those things with the exact same effort that they put in to requesting them. I know they won't ever look at them, not with any real scrutiny. I focus on my students, and their progress. I need to see growth, and if that means that we take out three or four days to work on a short essay, then so be it. Then I will "fake" grades for that week. It is as close as a win-win as I can get. I figure long after the "educational leaders" move on to working for a textbook publisher, I will still be teaching and making a difference.

That is the only reason that I play the game.

Reading in the 12th grade

2007-08-31T18:04:00.000-06:00

This week we began reading Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God. Since there are only enough copies for a class set, I decided that we would go over the book entirely in class. This would consist of me reading aloud, students reading each character like a part in a play, student read alouds, silent reading, and so on. I made this decision in part because of the lack of books, but mostly because most of my students don't do homework, so I would ensure that they got through at least one damn book this year. I read the first and third chapters to the class so that students would grasp the dialect. I made the students follow along and take notes. I stopped at intervals to discuss the events of the novel. I stopped to discuss the use of the "n" word in this context.

Today, as a way to gauge how the class is going, I gave a quiz. The quiz was a mix of objective and subjective questions, and was open book. The questions came in the order the answers appeared in the text, and I told the students as much.

Each class was devastated that I would do such a thing.

I felt that I was being too kind, and babying them to the point of driving some to boredom. It appears not to be the case. I feel like I am the only teacher they have ever had that has held them accountable, and since they are 12th graders, this makes me very sad.

Please readers, tell me if this seems odd to you. It is my second year teaching, and I want to do right, but this has me flummoxed.

Schedules

2007-08-26T21:26:00.000-06:00

So I have been very bad, and I haven't kept up on the blog. This last week was pretty hectic. We started off the week with one schedule, and had to change to another halfway through the week. This is because we are at the Mercy of Transportation, and we as educators have to just shut up about it. The students and parents are really pissed, and the whole staff is incensed. They added 21 minutes to our teaching time, and they "encourage" us to assist in before and after school duty for free. I smell a union uprising.

As much as I want to make a difference, I can't handle being jerked around like this. I really wanted to spend a good portion of my career at this particular school, but I cannot professionally torture myself like this. I am a teacher, not a martyr. I have decided to find a new school after this school year. It saddens me to think that I might leave several kids in the lurch, but when a district will spend hours on how much cleavage can show, and what colors may or may not be gang-related, yet we cannot be bothered to run a dry bus schedule, or meet with the superintendent regarding an extended workday, then I feel that the district is forcing me to make a difference elsewhere.

I know that this is a bit confused, but my writing reflects my state of mind.

I also just finished a marathon of Journal/Participation grading, and I am a bit depressed. My 12th graders write like 7th graders. I really have a lot to do before I take maternity leave.

Back to School

2007-08-17T18:33:00.000-06:00

So it is already that time again. This week I had to go back to school. Monday began with ridiculous meetings that had no seeming purpose. On Tuesday we had training for a program that is intended to "raise our students reading comprehension" and help us meet AYP. I believe that it is merely a way to teach to the test, and it is the first step in a screen lowering from the ceiling and a virtual teacher telling me to get a new fucking job. Needless to say I am not pleased. Besides, doesn't Achieve3000 sound like a terminator prototype? Creepy.

I am still working on making my classroom "rich and diverse" (which in the real world means hanging up a bunch of posters and inspirational messages), but I did get my syllabus completed and submitted, and a letter home to parents.

My syllabus is 8 typed pages. My colleagues are calling it my manifesto. That may sound excessive for a 12th grade class, but I wanted to be sure to put everything that might come up in writing. I have to be out for maternity leave in the spring, and in order to create minimal headache for the sub, and myself, I wanted to have no questions.

Yesterday was a waste, but I did get the students to practice writing again, so I am thankful for my small victory. Today I read the manifesto to the class, and I am pretty sure that they know that I mean business. I also have a few "repeat offenders" from last year, so that will also serve as testament to my seriousness as a teacher.

This whole post sounds a bit like I have a hard heart, but that is not true. Last year I started off nice, and no one took me seriously. I don't plan on being a hard-ass, but I want the students to know that I mean business.

I have to say that I am very impressed so far with my students. The are all respectful, and they seem to have some interest. I hope that I can keep that going.

Here's to a great year.

8 Random Facts

2007-07-16T11:54:00.000-06:00

As per Bird's tag, I must now divulge 8 random facts about me. Be amused, or bored.

1. I am a notorious procrastinator. I never do things in a timely manner. For example, I need to read abut 12 books before the school year begins. I am halfway through one, and the school year begins in about 31/2 weeks.

2. I love dogs. I am obsessed with them. I see them on the street and in other people's cars, and I start talking to them. I truly believe that all dogs secretly want to live with me. Thankfully, I am not a dog hoarder.

3. I aspire to be a fashion monger, but I can't seem to break my jeans and t-shirt habit. I dream of expensive, uncomfortable shoes.

4. I believe in the ideal incarnation of our country. This is what makes me so irritated with what we are currently experiencing.

5. I have ridden in several race cars, and I would be pleased as punch to do it again.

6. I am a member of a step-family. My sister and I constantly discuss the favoritism given to the "others" despite our superiority. :)

7. I have a MySpace page. It is embarrassing to be a grown person on MySpace, but I feel compelled to check it daily. I am also addicted to smart blogs. (See link above.)

8. I wanted to join the Air Force. I truly wanted to be a part of a patriotic tradition. I was completely sold on the Air Force being woman-friendly. Then I went to the physical. A room of teenage women was told to strip to their underwear (some were not wearing bras) and exercise vigorously in front of a man I thought was a corpse propped up in the corner. My idea of "woman-friendly" is vastly different from that. I know what kind of woman I would be had I joined the Air Force, and I am glad I did not.

Almost there

2007-05-15T22:13:00.000-06:00

So, I have almost completed one year. I have one day of finals left and then the marathon of grading to follow. I am very excited and proud. I have had a rough spring semester, and I am glad that it is coming to a close. The students have been great, and the atmosphere is fine, but I didn't realize how much of your "personal space" teaching can take up. I hope to have a better handle on it next year.

I have been rehired, which is a blessing. I did not want to spend the summer trying to figure out where to work and what I should pretend to know in the fall. Next year should be much easier, just knowing the politics of the place will help.

Side note: A nearby district overturned the grade of a senior who failed English after an "independent review" of his work. The teacher refused, the principal refused, so the parents went to the district. The father was a former school board member, the mother is a current county commissioner. I am terrified that my professionalism will be questioned by "outsiders."

I really appreciate all of the advice that you have given me. I am also thankful for the great ideas I gleaned from your blogs. I will keep writing, so please keep reading.

Easter Break

2007-04-07T00:38:00.000-06:00

Yes. It is Easter Break. I teach at a school that caters to religion (although it is a public school). Our break is really a little more than a long weekend. We get Thursday, Good Friday, the weekend, Monday through Wednesday off, and then we return for two days. I feel like I got screwed out of a weekend. Oh well, I will be okay. I have a gigantic stack of papers to grade.

I assigned a research paper. I did my best to make it an innovative assignment. Since the beginning of the quarter we have been viewing and responding to pictures for the journal assignments. I intentionally chose "iconic" images; the fall of the Berlin Wall, the explosion of the Atomic Bomb, the arrest of Ken Lay, the beating of Rodney King, etc. I wanted to provoke my students. When we first started the project, I just had them respond to the photos. "What do you think is going on? How does this picture make you feel? What do you see?" These were the questions I asked. Then we did a descriptive essay. I wanted the students to describe a photo that they felt drawn to, and then describe their reactions. I got mixed responses on this. Many students created a narrative that was entertaining, but not insightful. Then we moved into the research. I wanted them to research the photo, the time period, the people in it, but most importantly the question "what makes this photo important/iconic to you and others?" I am terrified to look at the reasearch papers, because what I saw during the writing process was a lot of "reporting." Rodney King was African-American, The Titanic sunk in 1912, Exxon Valdez spilled x amount of oil into the ocean. These facts are useful, but they are not what should drive the paper. I know that I am going to be disappointed.

With whom should the disappointment lay? I can think of so many times when my instruction should have been more clear. I can imagine the amount of time that we spent on sentence patterns that would have been better spent on research skills.

I also picture the number of days that the students were out of my classroom. These were mostly days that they were required to be out because of testing, professional collaboration, or snow days. I also picture the Junior English teachers that they had before me who did not even address research. I also picture the counselor who told them not to take an AP class, because they should "take it easy" their senior year. I picture their parents, who tell them that public school is just another thing that the whites have imposed on the Native-Americans, so endure it and then come back to the pueblo. I picture the elective teachers holding the students in class so that they can prepare for "robo-rave," or "art expo," or "culinary delights."

How can I compete?

I will make it through the rest of the school year, but I am so grateful for the break.

Spring Fever

2007-03-23T22:39:00.000-06:00

It is almost that time. Spring Break is upon us, and the students are going crazy. At my school they are passing out "duty" (read: dootie) schedules and requesting extra police at lunch. The administration has a fear (rational or not) of an impending "gang" fight. I think they may be blowing things out of proportion, but it is better to be safe than sorry.

The kids are losing it. They hope (assume) that it will all be downhill from here, but they have not experienced the determined, hopeful, rigorous Mrs. B yet. I am not going to send them into the world on "attendance points"--which sadly some would not even earn--but I will send them into the world screaming "I hope they fire that tough bitch! She made me work my senior year!" They will enter post-secondary life with some inkling of what the "real world" expects of them.

I will be grading research papers soon, and I am already disappointed. I am not disappointed with my students, but I am disappointed with the school. The library is a joke, their computer lab is at least five years overdue for an overhaul, and the only grade that requires any type of research paper is the 12th. Luckily, some of the other "newbies" have decided that they will require research, so when I get them in a year or two, they will have some idea of what I am talking about.

We have one more week until Spring Break, and I am dying for it.

69/92 Failing

2007-02-23T21:02:00.000-07:00

I am so upset. I have 92 students and 69 of them are failing. I have given both challenging and "gimme" assignment. Some have been "traditional" assignments, others have been more creative. I have given 30 assignments in order to balance out the low grades. I have accepted late work. I have called home. I have contacted their other teachers. We only have two weeks left in the quarter.

Now, I have resorted to insanity; I gave a packet of all of the work we have done since January, and the students have until the end of the day on Monday to turn it in to me. That means that I will be spending all of this weekend and next week grading assignments that were due over a month ago.

I would not be so inclined to bend, but I know that if I fail half of the senior class, it isn't very likely that they will ask me back next year. I really don't want to do any "inflation" of grades, but I have to do something. The sad thing is, even if these students get in all of this missing work, and they pass this and next quarter, they are still graduating short of the skills that are required of 12th graders. Most of my students are on an 8th grade level. The illusion of mastery stops here.

We are also testing next week, and I have a formal observation on a half-day. I was really glad that it was February, but now I can't wait for March.

January is finally over!

2007-02-03T22:53:00.000-07:00

I know that January is great. It is the month of my birthday, the beginning of the new year, and the holidays are officially over. But as a teacher, January has come to mean something new to me; pure chaos. I have never witnessed such confusion in my life. Some of it was inevitable, but some of it was completely and utterly avoidable.

The first week of January was still holiday week. There was no school. The following week saw some severe snow storms, so we had a couple of delayed starts. The third week of January is home to a Monday holiday. The rest of that week went uninterrupted. The week of the 22nd is when we hosted our state competency exams. This was the biggest catastrofuck that could have ever been. Most schools take a day, or maybe two half-days. We did not choose either path.

Our school has horrible attendance on any day, but test days are phenomenally bad. Even those scheduled to test do not feel compelled to attend. So the school district (with seemingly no input from any teachers, students or parents) came up with a schedule to include testing students and the general population. On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday sophomores and upperclassmen who have yet to pass the test would take a competency exam in the morning and take staggered classes in the afternoon. For those who are not testing, they have classes in the morning that rotate. For example, on Tuesday the students would go to 1st and 3rd period for an hour and forty-five minutes each, and then they will eat lunch and return for two 55 minute classes. Then on Wednesday the long classes would be different class periods, and so on. This was to minimize absences and maximize class time. This schedule was given two days before the tests were to begin.

As I previously stated, my school has horrible attendance. So many students assumed that since testing was occurring, they did not need to attend. Also, upperclassmen who failed the test in the past (who were generally the weaker performing students) were out of the classroom when the class was stretched to nearly two hours. These students were expected to come back and make up approximately two days of work after testing. They were already overwhelmed with the work before they left to take a test, and then they began to drown.

Some teachers avoided this conundrum by showing a movie during test week, but as a new teacher in a School in Need of Improvement, I was not about to be caught by an administrator showing a movie (it is very frowned upon).

The following week, a former student from the school was killed in Iraq. This had a great number of our small community out of school for about three days to prepare for the funeral. Then on the last Friday before progress reports go out, a prominent community member excused dozens of students from school for some activity.

The question I pose is this; if you were a senior in this high school, would you even wake up for January?

TGIF--Thank God it's February!!!

Winter Break

2006-12-25T23:52:00.000-07:00

Finally. I did not think that I was going to make it. Our finals were backed right up against Christmas, and we have a problem with attendance anyway, so I was very concerned that we would not get through finals. The week that our finals were given, we had the biggest snowstorm in the area for the last seven years. One early dismissal, one snow day, and one late arrival later we finally got started.

My students had a project for their final. They were assigned a scene from a play and they had to analyze it. Many students completed the project beautifully, but still others refused to do the work. I am very disappointed. I tried to do something creative, but the students were not interested in trying it. Next time, sadly, I will give a traditional final. I am learning some really sad lessons along the way about the "fun" classroom. This break will give me some much needed reflection time, and I will begin anew in the spring semester.

Happy holidays.

Mph Ump Mph!

2006-10-30T20:48:00.000-07:00

Translation: I am trapped under a pile of papers. Help me!

I am slowly getting caught up, but I have learned the hard way that procrastination is the teacher's worst enemy. Not only am I behind on the grading, but I am also flying by the seat of my pants because planning has taken a backseat. I also can't see the writing on my chalk boards because of the dust.

Tomorrow is Halloween, and we are off for Dia de los Muertos. I am pretty sure that it is a complete loss because attendance is low most of the time anyway. I hope that the kids are ready for a crossword puzzle.

Diversity Hangover

2006-10-23T17:08:00.001-06:00

Today we had an in-service. This was district wide, and it was well attended. The title of the conference was "Affirming Diversity." This title really bothers me, because it is meaningless. We are pretty much saying, "Diversity exists. There it is." I am sure they wanted to avoid such cheesy and over-used terms as "exploring" or "finding" or "identifying" and they really couldn't get past the PR people with "Giving Lip Service to Diversity (or how we aren't racist teachers)."

Another headache surrounding this conference is the definition of diversity. All we talked about was students that do not speak English as their first language. There was no mention of special education; there wasn't even a whisper of dealing with homosexual students or children of homosexual parents. The definition of diversity is so narrow that it no longer means what it is supposed to mean. I am also insulted by the fact that it is assumed that white teachers need diversity training. In the school that I teach at, I am the "diverse" face, yet I am the one who is looked at as imposing. I know that this sounds like a race rant, but really it is a rant against semantics. What constitutes diversity? Why does it feel like I might be writing watermelon when I write diversity? (Update as of 2/2008: I now see the underlying privilege behind this statement. I am not proud of what is said and what is implied here. I am sorry for this, and I am trying to educate myself to my privilege. I am proud to say that I have grown since first writing this.)

That being said, they also let a 95 year-old man ramble for an hour as the first keynote speaker, when there was only 55 minutes for two keynote speakers. I am all for respecting your elders, but living to 95 does not automatically give you the right to hold 350 people hostage in a gym.

They don't need me

2006-10-18T20:39:00.000-06:00

The kids were well behaved. They were nice to the substitute, and they tried to do the assignment. They had some questions today, but they will be able to complete the assignment on their own. I feel pretty good that I left lessons that someone was able to understand and execute. I can convey information clearly!

Day off

2006-10-17T19:22:00.000-06:00

I took the day off today. I had a three hour dentist appointment, so it would have been silly to drive back for a couple of hours. I am really concerned about the class. Were they respectful to the substitute? Did they complete the assignment (which wasn't a crossword puzzle) that I left for them? Is the school still standing? This is the first time in my life that I have had a day off from a job that actually matters. This feeling of "how did it go" is driving me nuts. I would love to hear any horror stories from substitutes so that I can say, "At least my kids weren't that bad."

First Quarter

2006-10-14T23:42:00.000-06:00

It is the end of the first quarter, so I am swimming in it. I assigned a "final" assignment to help the kids better understand their novels, and to boost their grades. Almost half of the kids decided not to do the assignment. To make up for that, I gave the kids an "Amnesty" day, which included a chance for up to 55 extra credit points. About one fourth of the students didn't do that. It is like they don't care. I teach seniors, and they have no urge to compete. They just want to "graduate" in May. Well, they better be ready for what is coming, because mediocrity is not what cuts it for me. Things are only going to get tougher.

Krazy Kids

2006-09-29T19:51:00.000-06:00

I don't know what happened this week, but the kids were crazy. They must have all taken a large dose of ecstasy. I do not like to raise my voice, but on Wednesday I shouted at all of my classes. They refused to remain silent during SSR (sustained silent reading) and would not complete daily journal entries. I had to offend their sensibilities (as well as my own) to get them to listen to me. I don't like turning into "that" kind of teacher, but they really pushed me to the limit.

I know, if they see me lose control, that means they have the control. I acted on instinct instead of logic.

Let me give you an example of the craziness that I am talking about. Today, after lunch, my students came in especially rambunctious. No one would complete the assignment on Native Son some had not even cracked the book (they were supposed to be right past the murder scene), and therefore could not complete the assignment. Some had not even checked the book out from the library. I told them to catch up on the reading and turn in the assignment on Monday, but almost every student took the time to catch up on social hour. (We started the week with discussion, so I couldn't really come up with another discussion on the spot. Hey, I'm new.)

Here's the kicker. One particularly...um...inappropriate (read: horny) student put a girls sweater on. Then he stuffed his sweater with tissue and began dancing behind me as I was assisting one of the few students who was actually doing work. He wasn't just dancing behind me, but he was gyrating at my behind. I have no idea how long this was going on before I noticed, but I was embarrassed. I turn red at any sort of innuendo, so my "act cool" routine was out the window. The kids cracked up and I lost complete control. I had to resort to a "hallway conference" with my student. There I informed him that if he was having "gender confusion" issues, then it was time to speak to the school therapist. Hopefully that will calm him down. Did I mention that I teach seniors?

I am so glad it is Friday.

Standardized Testing

2006-09-07T20:04:00.000-06:00

I think that those words are the worst in the world. I had two half-days of standardized testing with my seniors this week, and I feel like death. It is so mindless, and the kids hate it. I had one student leave class and start screaming obscenities at another teacher. While I had to tell her that she was acting inappropriately, I felt like doing the same thing. Administration at my high school really messed up the directions for the test, so I fear that we may have to go through this all over again.

On a much more somber note, tragedy struck my school today. Nothing severe, but former students died, and many of my kids were affected by this event. I am now on "depression watch," and I am not very good at that yet.

I just needed to vent.

Week One

2006-08-24T17:09:00.000-06:00

I am almost done with the first full week of school. I am now officially a teacher. I have been inundated with BS from Admin, and I am already feeling as if I don't matter. Sorry to be such a downer, but I got sick the first week (imagine that) and so I haven't been as energetic, and therefore, I haven't been as effective as I could be. Also, the students are allowed to change their schedules until August 30th (or thereabouts) and so from day to day I have no idea who is going to be there.

Please help me. I am feeling a little lost, and I am questioning my career decision. Is this normal?

Orientation

2006-08-15T21:22:00.000-06:00

I feel so disoriented. The last few days are a blur of “hogwash.” I have been going to meeting after meeting, most of which hold no new information. I apparently have no idea how to interact with people who are not white, so I have to have “diversity” training. I also need to be reminded not to look at porn on school computers. It is imperative that I sit through a barrage of speeches congratulating every person under the sun, and immediately following the speech the congratulatee steps up to the lectern to congratulate someone else. All I want to do is set up my classroom, maybe write a syllabus and familiarize myself with the curriculum. It is amazing how much time is wasted in “preparing” teachers to return to the classroom.

Pet Peeve Alert—“All tardy students will be held in the gym and not allowed to do anything for a full hour.” The donkeys who delivered this line to me were nearly 20 minutes late returning from lunch. Uh…head exploding.

I am looking forward to teaching, and I can’t wait to meet my students, but this orientation business has to go.

Those who can't do, become politicians.

2006-08-08T19:26:00.000-06:00

"Instead of teaching the three R's--Reading, Writing, and 'rithmetic, schools are too busy trying to teach the three S's...Sexuality, Self-Esteem and Socialism." John Dendahl, Republican Gubernatorial candidate. (Quoted in Albuquerque Journal, August 2006)

Well, what an interesting thing to say in an election year. I guess that teachers don't vote, being that we are far too busy teaching children about the three S's. No one seems to care that the "three R's" are incorrect. Once an ignorant idea takes hold, it is obviously hard to shake it. Thankfully, this ridiculous idea has no ground to stand on. How do we have time to deviate (or turn our students into deviants, as the candidate suggests) when we are busting our asses trying to prepare our students for the banal standardized tests that they will be required to take for the remainder of their educational career?

The candidate goes on to suggest that teachers are more socialists than capitalists. Hmmm. Well since we are the lowest paid professionals who do our job for the improvement of society and individuals alike, I guess he has us there. Who would have guessed that teachers are not as concerned with monetary gain as say, CFO's or politicians. There is nothing wrong with making money, but there is absolutely nothing right about making disparaging remarks about those who spend eight hours a day with your children.

Sorry to go on a political rant here, but sometimes it has to be done.

Ahhh.....

2006-07-25T16:45:00.000-06:00

Summer school ended on Friday and I feel fantastic. I crammed a year's worth of teaching into six weeks. Wow! I had my first "leaning" experience though. Two of my football players really wanted a D instead of an F. I would have given it to them, but when I graded my final, everyone passed with flying colors. That says to me that they understood the information, but they refused to do the work. It really was upsetting to say, "I'm sorry (student's name), but you did not do the work to merit a passing grade." When I really wanted to cuddle them and tell them I love them anyway, but they flunked English...again.

I have two weeks before I report for the start of my first full school year. I am going to take this time to watch bad television and read great books. If you have any reading suggestions let me know.

Thieves!

2006-07-05T15:01:00.000-06:00

I am mortified. In the mornings I listen to my iPod while I set up my classroom for the day. When I am finished, I put the iPod in my desk drawer, push it all the way to the back, and close the drawer. Today a student stole my iPod. I am so disappointed. I thought we (the class and I) had created a classroom of trust. I can afford to replace the iPod soon, but it was a gift from a loved one. I am so irritated with myself for allowing them the opportunity to take something that was important to me.

The good thing about this is that I have an opportunity to teach a bunch of summer school Punks about ethics and consequences. The bad thing is that some good students are going to miss out on the happy Mrs. B because of the actions of one student.

Obviously this is a lesson that every new teacher must (but should never have to) learn. Send me your comments please.

Craziness

2006-06-27T16:53:00.000-06:00

I am teaching summer school. I must be out of my mind. They cram an entire semester into three weeks, and we have to complete two semesters. The kids in summer school are, well they are kids who have to take summer school. A colleague today said, "There are three categories. Group one has to take summer school because they did not do the work. Group two has to take summer school because they did not go to class. Group three has to take summer school because they prefer to do drugs and drink." My class consists of a fantastic mix of all three. I am really trying to actually teach them something, but sometimes I just have to get through the day.

Right now we are reading a book that accounts the stories of six survivors from Hiroshima. This book is pretty dense, and I think it is going to be difficult to keep them interested. I am going to do a project with them in which they will create a newspaper for the book, but I am not sure that will be exciting enough. I have some other materials about atomic warfare, but I also don't want to come off as "anti-war" (even though I am) because I am teaching in a very, shall I say, Republican community. Any input about how to keep kids interested would be greatly appreciated.

Attack of the Personal Space Invaders

2006-03-24T22:01:00.000-07:00

They are coming. There is no way to stop them. The Personal Space Invaders have set their sites on me and I am immobilized. I cannot escape.

It began simply. First it was a little of, "Let's come over and get high." Then it was, "Hey, we are great friends, we should live together." Now it is, "Since we live together, I feel that it is appropriate that I control every aspect of your life." It is a slippery slope. Do not be fooled by the Personal Space Invader. He is cunning and handsome. He will do the dishes for the first two weeks.

Soon after though, you are constantly out of hot water. The glasses are all in his bedroom. The dogs seem strangely terrified. What can you do? First you must identify the Personal Space Invader. Sometimes they are merely searching for a mother figure. Occassionally they are looking for a lover (but in this capacity they are also expecting a mother figure). Most often they are simply unaware that they have stumbled into an existence of personal space. Begin with placing invisible "hula-hoops" around your body. The Personal Space Invader will recognize the boundary soon. Then set perimeters around your home. "NO, this is my bed. No, you may not have sex in my shower. Please do not use my salad bowl to soak your feet." The Personal Space Invader will quickly learn the ways of this universe.

Punks

2006-02-01T19:35:00.000-07:00

It was not a good day. The kids were in rare form today, and they really tested my limits as a human being. I wanted to kick some of them out of the classroom. Luckily, parent teacher conferences are coming up, so I will at least get a chance to see the people that have created these monsters. I am so fed up that I am about to begin “writing them up,” which is something I really would rather avoid (wanting to remain anonymous and all).

There were a few glimmering moments though. Some of the grades have moved up from the Super-F range and there are even a few A’s. Maybe I’ve seen too many “inspirational” teacher movies, but I really think there is a way for everyone to do well. My brain hurts, my body aches, and I am sorry for all of the veteran teachers today.

It is not a good day for the student teacher.

Student Teaching

2006-01-18T15:33:00.000-07:00

I took over classroom responsibilities this week in three Freshmen English classes. Oh, boy! I am really freaking out. We are reading the Bless Me, Ultima in a play-style (the teacher reads the narrator’s part, the students read the parts of the characters) and it takes a lot of energy to remember who is playing what part. I really want the kids to enjoy the novel, but I do not want them to walk all over me, so I have to put on the Mrs. B alter-ego. Mrs. B is not nice, and she doesn’t care if you fail the class. Mrs. B also will not repeat instructions and she will make you change seats if you don’t stop talking. This is the part of being a teacher that I am not all the way comfortable with, but hopefully I will become a better disciplinarian because of it.

Weddings

2005-08-04T11:27:00.000-06:00

Summer is ending, and the wedding season is coming to a close. Thank God! I hate weddings. It’s not that I hate marriages; I think that it is great for two people to declare their love for each other and enter into a legally binding government agreement. I just hate a lot of the prissy crap that everyone has to go thru before we get any cake.

“I want ballerinas at the wedding!” “Let’s have flamingos line the aisles!” “My train must be no shorter than one mile long, and I want seven infants to crawl underneath it so that it won’t get all dirty!”

From now on I am keeping all wedding invitations as a receipt. If the marriage falls apart for any reason, I will ask for a refund of any time spent watching small children throw petals or carry pillows, animals dressed in any formal wear, any singing relatives, or having to participate in any poultry dances. Friends and family be warned!!

Catching Up

2005-05-24T17:51:00.000-06:00

I am reading The Catcher in the Rye for the second time in my life. I figured that if I plan to be a high school English teacher, then I better brush up on the stuff the kids are gonna have to read. I am of the opinion that the "classics" are wasted on the young. I didn't remember how absolutely hilarious that book is. And I am not being a "phony." Holden is just a riot, and when I first read it I thought that Holden (and Salinger) were assholes.

Anyway, I am almost done with it and I hope that when I teach it I can make it more exciting than my teachers did.

Giving it a shot

2005-05-16T18:39:00.000-06:00

This is an experiment for myself. If you enjoy then let me know, if not then be constructive.